When your spouse has been unfaithful, it can be difficult to feel desire for him or her. You might feel like you don’t want to go through the motions of having sex, or you might be worried that acting on your feelings will lead to conflict in your relationship. However, if you’re in a relatively happy marriage and both partners are committed to their relationship, there’s no reason sex should stop being a normal part of your life.
What’s more important than feeling attracted to your partner is acting on your feelings of attraction. That said, it’s natural for many people to avoid sex after an infidelity—and that’s OK. There are many other ways to be intimate with one another. Talking about what happened and how it made you feel can help you get closer and reestablish trust in your relationship. But if your partner is interested in sex, you should at least consider the possibility of trying again.
In the wake of an affair, couples often find that they are closer emotionally than they were before—they may even learn new things about each other’s bodies and desires that they didn’t know before. Feeling close enough to discuss these things openly can make it easier to move past the physical betrayal and reconnect intimately with one another.
Trust Issues
When a person cheats, their partner is left with a lot of unanswered questions. One of the biggest and most common questions asked by betrayed spouses is “Why didn’t I have sex with my husband/wife anymore?” After all, cheating is about sex, so it seems only logical that the spouse who was cheated on would be unable to have sex with their partner again. But is this really true?
The answer to this question is one of the hardest things for people to accept — but once you understand why something like this happens, you can start working toward a solution. The reason why you’re not interested in your husband after cheating may be that you do not trust your husband.
Just think about it: you’ve been cheated on, and now there’s no way you can know if your husband or wife will cheat on you again (or even when). And all the while, your husband or wife has been going on with his or her life as if nothing happened. In a world where people have affairs every day, how can you ever know for sure? It’s hard for someone who has been cheated on to trust someone again even after they say they won’t cheat again — and if the betrayed spouse doesn’t forgive and forget, then he or she can’t
Emotional Damage
It’s normal to lose interest in sex after a while. But if your husband no longer turns you on, it’s time to talk.
If you’re not attracted to your husband anymore, you need to work through it together. It’s important to understand what’s going on inside each of your minds before you can make any changes.
But there are things that can happen in a marriage that make sex less enjoyable for both partners. An affair can cause significant emotional damage that makes it hard to be intimate with your partner again.
You’re not attracted to him anymore because of something that happened between the two of you (or even before you got married). Maybe he cheated on his ex-girlfriend or he said something cruel about her when they were dating. Maybe he cheated on you now and it happened again with someone else. Or maybe he was selfish in bed or just couldn’t figure out how to get you off. So now, even though he didn’t change at all and is still the same person who loved and adored you, there is this layer of distrust that makes it difficult for both of them to feel safe enough to let down their guard and enjoy intimacy.
Pain
Since your husband cheated on you, he probably doesn’t completely understand how much pain he caused you. You may feel like you’re alone in this. Your husband has been unfaithful, so he may not fully understand the pain he caused you. He probably doesn’t realize how much you’ve changed since he cheated on you.
If your husband has cheated on you, it means that he didn’t respect your marriage or love for him enough to stay faithful. It means that he wasn’t committed to making things work. He may have even been seeing other people while still married to you.
People who are unfaithful in their marriages often feel like they’re entitled to do whatever they want outside of their relationship without any consequences. They don’t realize how much pain their actions cause others, and they don’t realize how much damage they’re doing to their relationships at home.
Take Time
Feeling physically and emotionally distant from your husband after cheating may be a sign that you need to take time to regain interest in him. If you take the time to reconnect with yourself, your body and mind will be more willing to connect with your partner.
Take time to build a satisfying sex life with your husband. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our marriages is to take time for ourselves and our spouses. We can start by scheduling time for sex. Scheduling time for sex is an important part of reconnecting with one another, especially if we have kids.
Then, close your bedroom door to avoid being interrupted during a supposed private moment with your husband. Then make sure you have fun together as well as take care of yourself. You can achieve this goal by focusing on each other’s bodies and having fun with foreplay. Look into each other’s eyes when kissing or touching each other and make sure no one, including yourself, is feeling pressured or rushed. Enjoy undressing together.
It’s not just about having sex; It’s about spending quality time with each other. Take some time to talk about how things are going in your relationship.
Make Positive Changes
Your husband may be able to make positive changes that will allow you two to reconnect romantically. One of the most difficult struggles you will have to overcome in life is when you are not attracted to your spouse anymore. I know, this can be a very painful situation to find yourself in, but it’s one that’s entirely possible to resolve. For many people, this is a hard concept to grasp and it’s even harder to deal with, but the first step to dealing with attraction issues is admitting that there really is an issue.
When your spouse has cheated on you, or has done something else that has made you feel bad about yourself, the first thing you need to do is realize that these things are not going to change overnight. You have to put in some work and re-learn how to feel good about yourself before you’re going to feel okay being close with someone else. I know it may seem impossible at this point, but if you are able, try working on your self-esteem alone before trying to seek out marital counseling. Getting help from a therapist or professional is recommended for anyone who has been hurt by their spouse so that they can ensure they won’t get hurt again.
If your marriage hasn’t broken down completely due to your lack of attraction towards your spouse, then there are still some things you can do in order regain attraction within yourself.
Therapy
There are many potential reasons why you feel no attraction for your husband, but there is hope. It takes work to get over infidelity, but it’s important that you do. The first step is to get a physical checkup from your doctor to make sure there isn’t anything wrong with you physically. If there isn’t anything physically wrong with you, then it’s time to look inward and try to find out what’s going on emotionally.
You can seek therapy to regain your attraction in him. In therapy, you’re able to talk about how he hurt you and what’s on your mind without having to worry about hurting his feelings or making him feel uncomfortable. This gives you a safe space to freely express your true feelings, which may be difficult to do when you’re around your husband. You can also work with a therapist to come up with ways of getting over the betrayal and moving forward with your marriage. You don’t have to let this problem overwhelm your marriage—you can seek help and find a way through this together.
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FAQ About I’m Not Attracted to My Husband Anymore
Can I Love My Husband After He Cheated?
The answer is yes, you can love your husband again. But it’s going to take some work and a lot of heartache before you get there. There are many different kinds of cheating. Some men cheat because they want to prove that they’re still attractive and virile. Others do it because their marriage has become stale and boring, so they look outside the relationship for excitement. And then there are men who fall into an affair with someone else after years in a dead-end marriage and have no intention of leaving their wives.
How Does A Husband Feel After Cheating On His Wife?
The feeling of guilt is the worst feeling in the world. You may have heard this before, but it’s true. Guilt is a terrible feeling that can haunt you for days, weeks, or even months. It’s a feeling that makes you feel like you are being punished for something that you did wrong. Many people feel guilty after cheating on their spouse because they know that they have done something morally wrong.
Can Cheating Make You Fall Out Of Love?
The answer is yes, it can — but not in the way you’d expect. Cheating doesn’t just break your trust; it also makes you feel like you’re losing yourself. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend and soul mate, so when they betray you like this, it feels like they’ve betrayed everything that makes them special to you. It’s not just about the sex (although that can be part of it). Cheating can feel like a betrayal of trust, and if you’re feeling betrayed by someone so close to you, then chances are that person isn’t making you feel loved anymore.
How Do I Treat My Husband After He Cheated?
It’s not easy to react to a husband’s infidelity. You might be angry, hurt, confused, or all of the above. But there are ways to deal with your feelings and move on with your life. And it’s important to remember that this is about your marriage and your family — not about him cheating on you. For starters, don’t let him off the hook too easily for his actions. If he cheated once, he has the potential to cheat again. If he doesn’t realize the severity of what he did and how it hurt you, he won’t change his ways in the future. And don’t forget: You’re not alone in this situation. There are millions of people who have gone through something similar and have found ways to heal their marriages after an affair (some successfully).
How Does A Woman Feel After Being Cheated On?
Being cheated on is one of the most traumatic things that can happen to a woman. It’s not just the betrayal itself that hurts but also the realization that her partner has lied to her and betrayed her trust in such an intimate way. Most women who have been cheated on describe feeling shocked and angry at first, followed by a sense of betrayal and sadness when they realize their partner has been unfaithful. Some women also feel guilty because they believe that something must have been wrong with them for their partner to cheat on them. They may think back over their relationship thinking about all the times they made mistakes or caused problems in their relationship which may have led their partner to look elsewhere for support or intimacy with someone else.
When Should You Not Forgive A Cheating Spouse?
If they have never been unfaithful before and have no history of cheating, then it may be worth giving them another chance. If they have cheated before or have a history of being unfaithful, then there is a good chance that they will do it again in the future.
How Do I Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On?
Accept that the relationship is over. This might sound harsh, but it’s important that you understand that the relationship is over and that there’s no going back. If they want to come back into your life, they’ll need to work hard at earning your trust again — and if they don’t make an effort to win back your trust then they aren’t worth fighting for anyway! Don’t get caught up in revenge fantasies or stalking their social media profiles. Trust me — this doesn’t help anything! In fact, it just makes things worse because it keeps them in your head when they should already be out of there!
