Dating a narcissist is a very different experience from what happens when you meet an ordinary person. Although the narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is not specifically a love relationship disorder, people with NPD often end up dating and generally marrying individuals with NPD – or with borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, or some other condition with traits similar to those of a narcissist. In this article we will explain how dating a narcissist changes you.
What Is Narcissism?
Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s own attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.
Narcissism is a concept in psychoanalytic theory, which was popularly introduced in Sigmund Freud’s essay On Narcissism (1914). The American Psychiatric Association has listed the classification narcissistic personality disorder in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) since 1968, drawing on the historical concept of megalomania.
Narcissism is also considered a social or cultural problem. It is a factor in trait theory used in some self-report inventories of personality such as the Millon Clinical Multiaxial Inventory. It is one of the three dark triadic personality traits (the others being psychopathy and Machiavellianism). Except in the sense of primary narcissism or healthy self-love, narcissism is usually considered a problem in a person’s or group’s relationships with self and others.
Who Is Narcissist?
Narcissism is a term that has become mainstream in psychological and political circles today. It is a term that grows out of psychology to refer to an individual with narcissistic traits or a narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissism is considered a spectrum disorder, which means that you can have some narcissistic traits and not others or have varying degrees of the disorders.
When someone’s personality traits are inflexible and cause problems with functioning in everyday life and in relationships, they may be considered to have a personality disorder.
Narcissistic personality disorder is defined as an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a great need for admiration. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment.
Sometimes there is no clear reason why someone develops NPD; however, some researchers believe that in biologically susceptible children, parenting styles that are overprotective or neglectful may have an impact. Other factors may include extreme emotional abuse in childhood or adolescence and separation of the child from parents or peers.
What Is Narcissistic Dating?
Narcissistic dating is a term that doesn’t exist in the mental health field, but it should. I’m identifying the first stage of what is known as narcissistic abuse syndrome. Narcissistic abuse is one of the worse types of psychological abuse that one person can do to another, but unfortunately, many people are stuck in these types of relationships.
The person who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, (NPD), has a distorted sense of self and unrealistic expectations from others. They will often make decisions based on their needs, their perceptions and their emotions. Their sense of entitlement drives them to demand what they think they deserve with little regard for how their actions affect others. Narcissists have no empathy and feel no remorse for their actions.
Narcissists have an uncanny ability to find vulnerable people who will accept their behavior in order to gain love or approval. These people are often highly codependent and seek acceptance from anyone who will give it to them. They are often willing to put up with whatever treatment the narcissist dishes out, because they feel like flawed individuals who don’t deserve better treatment. Boundaries are never established or enforced with a narcissist because they do not see any reason why they should change their behavior or treat someone else better.
How Dating a Narcissist Changes You
You Lose Trust In Yourself
Narcissists are very good at making you feel small and worthless. They will convince you that you are not smart enough, pretty enough, athletic enough, strong enough or whatever enough to be worthy of them. They will constantly make you feel like the negative things they say about you are true. They’ll also make you doubt your decisions, your memories and even your perception of reality itself.
This is a very dangerous place to be because it’s not only awful for your self-esteem, but it can also become so ingrained in your mind that you start to believe it’s true. It’s a form of psychological abuse known as gaslighting, and it’s extremely effective.
You Feel That You Can’t Do Anything Right
Do you feel that you can’t do anything right? Are you looking for approval from your partner or friend? The narcissist’s negative actions and responses can make you feel like you are always doing something wrong.
Because of the narcissist’s need to be in control, they may try to make you feel less competent. They may criticize your work at home or on the job so that they can do it themselves. Or they may tell you that you will never be able to run a successful business because your ideas are too impractical. This can cause a lack of motivation and drive in yourself.
In order to get approval from a narcissist, some people will go to great lengths to make sure they can earn the praise or attention from the person who is abusing them. They find themselves overworked and exhausted trying to meet impossible standards set by the narcissist. This can lead others around them to believe that their performance is what it appears, when in reality, it is because of the pressure and abuse that someone feels incompetent and incapable of doing their job correctly.
You Doubt Your Intuition
People with narcissistic tendencies have a way of making you question your instincts. When you are dating a narcissist, he can twist your reality into something that it isn’t.
An unfortunate truth about dating a narcissist is that you mistakenly ignore your intuition and continue to doubt it even after you have been proven right. The narcissist will often provoke you into getting angry or upset, and then they will say things like “You’re too emotional” or “You’re too sensitive.” They will gaslight you, making you think you are overreacting.
But most of the time, it’s just that the way they treat you has become so hurtful and normal for them that they don’t realize how much it actually hurts your feelings.
You Second-guess Yourself More Than You Ever Have
You know something is off, but you don’t know what it is. You feel like it’s you, you’re going crazy, and everyone is telling you that they can’t figure out what the problem is either. It’s hard to explain but all of a sudden they just don’t seem so charming or trustworthy and you don’t feel so enamored by them anymore. The things they say and do make you feel paranoid and uneasy. But when you doubt your intuition, it makes it harder to leave a narcissist.
When dating a narcissist, you second-guess yourself more than ever. The narcissist will have your mind spinning with confusion about what happened and will convince you that your memory of the events are inaccurate. They will gaslight you and make you think everything was your fault.
Your feelings and instincts are there for good reason, even if at times they are off or misguided. You can’t dismiss them or ignore them completely but instead need to learn how to use them to help guide your decisions. You know deep down when there is something wrong in a relationship; if someone has crossed the line with you, abused your trust or respect, made unacceptable comments or choices and sometimes it’s not easy to admit these things have happened.
Your Friends And Family Don’t Recognize You Anymore
If you’ve been dating a narcissist, your friends and family may not recognize you anymore. Your personality has been decimated by the narcissist. Your energy is drained because you are constantly giving to the narcissist. You are numb, depressed, and stuck in a cycle of abuse.
Your friends and family wonder what’s going on with you. They loved the person you were before the relationship with the narcissist. But now, they barely recognize you.
The reason for this is that when you are dating a narcissist, your true personality is blocked from being expressed. The surface of your personality is all that can get through because the narcissist has taken control of your thinking and behavior. The narcissist will not let your true self be expressed if it does not serve his/her agenda. It’s as if a mask has been put on your face and everyone can see the mask but cannot see the real you underneath it.
Your True Self Is Blocked
The thing about narcissistic relationships is that they make people feel loved and appreciated at first impression, but over time a person will start feeling worthless and unloved within the relationship. The reason this happens is that a true narcissistic partner is always self-absorbed.
Everything Feels Like A Competition
A narcissist is someone who can take a toll on your sensibilities and your self-esteem, but a covert one can take a toll on your sanity, too.
When you date a narcissist, everything feels like a competition and you are always the loser. They make sure you know it, too.
Here are 5 signs of covert narcissism:
- They belittle your accomplishments and talk themselves up
- They constantly compare you to others
- They make you feel like they are doing you a favor by being with you
- They keep score of how much they have done for you compared to what you have done for them
- They make everything about them and rarely show interest in what is going on with you
You Believe That You’re Always Wrong
“Narcissists are always right. They are never wrong. They don’t want to accept responsibility for the bad things they do because their pride won’t allow it. Nothing is ever their fault, and God help you if you try to convince them otherwise.”–Tara Westover
- You Believe That You’re Always Wrong
- Everything is a Competition
- They’re Charming AF… At First
- They’re Incredibly Self-Absorbed
- They Don’t Have Many (or Any) Friends
- They Don’t Do Anything Unless It Benefits Them
- This Person Is Very Negative About Themselves and Others
- You Catch Them in Lies… Constantly
- You’ve Gained an Unhealthy Amount of Weight Since Dating This Person
- You Feel Ashamed of Yourself When You’re Around Them.
You Start To Feel Like You’re Playing A Part In A Movie
They start by putting on a good act — you might think they are the most charming and interesting person in the room. In fact, they often have very high charisma and even make a good first impression on you and everyone else.
But after awhile, this charm starts to wear off. You realize that their bragging is really just showing off — and you probably don’t care as much about their accomplishments as they do. You find yourself tuning out of the conversation because they just talk too much.
Eventually, the mask comes down. Their real personality comes out — and it’s nothing like what you expected or wanted. They become self-absorbed, arrogant, manipulative and demanding. They lose interest in you almost overnight, leaving you confused, hurt and left wondering what happened to the person you fell for.
You Are Being Gaslit All The Time
When you dating a narcissist, You Are Being Gaslit All The Time.
Narcissists are masters of making you doubt yourself and the abuse. That is why they are so dangerous. Their abuse includes emotional, physical, sexual, financial, verbal and psychological.
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that makes you second guess yourself. Abusers such as narcissists use it to control their victim’s sense of reality. They do this by constantly changing what they said or did, denying they ever said it or did it, and even denying your entire reality. For example, the narcissist may say “you are crazy” if you bring up the topic of them being abusive.
Gaslighting is an abusive tactic used by narcissists in order to instill feelings of self-doubt and anxiety in their victim. They do this by making their victim question themselves: their memory, perception, or judgment. People who have been gaslighted often feel like something is wrong with them for not seeing things the way their abuser does.
The goal of gaslighting is to make someone question themselves so much that they begin to doubt their place in the world; gaslighting can cause victims to lose all sense of self-confidence and belief in themselves.
That’s all for now from the content of “How Dating a Narcissist Changes You?” prepared by Victoria Milan! If you are looking for more content like this, you can visit Victoria Milan’s blog and stay tuned.
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FAQ About How Narcissist Changes You?
How Does a Narcissistic Relationship Make You Feel?
- You Lose Trust In Yourself
- You Feel That You Can’t Do Anything Right
- You Doubt Your Intuition
- You Second-guess Yourself More Than You Ever Have
- Your Friends And Family Don’t Recognize You Anymore
- Everything Feels Like A Competition
- You Believe That You’re Always Wrong
- You Start To Feel Like You’re Playing A Part In A Movie
- You Are Being Gaslit All The Time
How Does a Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?
When narcissists are unable to control you, they further weaken their victim with gaslighting manipulation. In this way, it makes its victim even more vulnerable. But if they still haven’t been able to do this, the narcissist feels pressured and they react with anger.
How Long Does a Narcissistic Relationship Last?
A narcissistic relationship does not have a clear duration. But usually this relationship can last from 6 months to several years. It may vary depending on the emotional bond between these people and different factors. You can visit our content for more information about the narcissistic relationship.
What Makes a Narcissist Crazy?
What drives a narcissist crazy is a lack of control and fighting. The less influence they have on you, the crazier the narcissists get. Also, when you don’t fight with them, narcissists start to feel insignificant. This will cause them to become angry.
What Happens When A Narcissist Realizes He’s Losing You?
When narcissists lose their partner, they will make an effort to regain them after a while. They will pay more attention to you than usual to win you back again. You can visit our content for more information about the narcissistic relationship.
How Do Narcissists Treat Their Spouses?
Narcissists like to keep their partners under control in a relationship, and they also like their partners to pay adoring attention to them. And if their partner is unable to gain control, narcissists get angry and constantly blame their partner.
Dating a narcissist makes you question your self-worth, and it can be hard to understand. For all about the narcissistic relationship, visit our article.
